Starbucks Thinks I’m A Drug Dealer

This morning I woke up at 7:30 a.m., got dressed quickly, and hit the atm for some cash.

I was headed to the farmer’s market to get some just-picked corn, and fresh salad veggies (because today is SALAD SATURDAY at our house).  I get to the farmer’s market about 8:05 a.m.–a little later than I would have liked, because parking downtown, as in every other city in the entire world, is a disastrous, frustrating experience.  But I didn’t do too bad.  I found a space, and was on my way.

Here’s what I bought:

  •  a bag of spring mix lettuce
  •  one bunch of mini carrots
  •  one cucumber
  •  one zucchini
  •  four fresh as could be ears of corn

A delicious line up for SALAD SATURDAY.

On the way home, I decided to stop at my local starbucks to get a delicious coffee drink.

The Starbucks Experience

This Starbucks is the drive through kind.  I order my drink at the speaker, glance at the shopping bag of veggies sitting beside me in the passenger seat (I did not strap them in) and pulled forward.

When the barista takes my card, she gives me a funny look.  She is young and cute and energetic, and I am patiently waiting for my coffee.  After a minute or so of waiting, I look back up at the window, and find three young baristas staring at me.

Okay… this is starting to get a bit weird.

I stare back, and the uncomfortable moment stretches on until they open the drive through window, and one of the girls asks me

“Is that a marijuanna plant?”

me:  Nope.  Carrots.

Barista 2 (laughing with the two others): Oh!  I thought it was marijuanna.  I thought you was really brave just leaving it out like that.

me:  …It’s just the tops of carrots.

Barista 1: When I took your card I saw it and I was like…?

A few things wrong with this situation

1.) All greens are not marijuana plants.

2.) Carrot tops and marijuanna leaves look very different

3.) YOU DO NOT ASK YOUR CUSTOMER IF HE IS CARRYING DRUGS DURING A BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

Starbucks: please feel free to use this blog post to help train new baristas.  You can pay me in free drink coupons. 🙂

12 thoughts on “Starbucks Thinks I’m A Drug Dealer”

    • It was mostly hilarious 🙂

      Cool! Thought about doing a co-op before, but for now, the occasional farmer’s market visit suffices.

    • Yes. It was very strange.

      Salad Saturday IS yummy. The carrots I picked up are tiny and bursting carrot-y freshness that you don’t really taste in supermarket carrots.

  1. Just watch your back, though.

    That barista’s dealer is gonna be pissed. He’s been selling her carrot greens to smoke all this time.

    And Salad Saturday sounds really good.

  2. When I saw that picture, the first word on your shopping bag looked a little like “Hemp”. (I can see the first letter is really an “R” now, but I just thought this was funny)

  3. If it was me, I’d find myself a good indie barista. Starbucks couldn’t care less if they tried real hard…. but a good barista in it for the long haul is a lovely thing. And your money stays *local*, and it’s better coffee.

    • I absolutely agree. In fact, usually we go to No Brow, which has the tastiest coffee I’ve ever had (and I’ve been to Portland, OR), but today was just kind of a… eh, I want a Frappuccino kind of day.

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